keekles. thanks to those who asked me how i was today in sch. altho they knew i was faking sick. but oh well. keke. kinda boring. juz played gb. gonna go off soon. lol hope everyone's taking care of themselves. kinda easy to fall sick now. and cheryl, rilak one korner and i hope u're enjoying ur camp. =)

keke. nv blogged for such a l0ng tyme. syan. din go to sch for 3 out of the 5 days this week. i pwned pee jay see. :D

keke. bored. anyways, here's a l337 foto which jy sent me. look who's in it. LLOLOLOOLOOL

hmm. same old boring day. guess i still have some work left to do. =\ -shrugs-

lol good friday wasn't very good after all. did nothing much. bought a pair of l337 goggles tho. some jap brand which has degree so that i can finally see under water. hurhur. sigh. bored.

Oh. The Angst. :D btw, happy birthday alv. didn't give u a prezzie or anything. maybe tonite i treat u haojian. hurhur. essenceofhao4u? KEKEKEKE

lol. Has anyone ever wondered what does the word "friend" actually means? to most people, it might mean people whom u treasure, people whom u like to hang out with, etc. in pri schs, the kids even have best friends and such. i used to be like that too. until today when i was sitting in my room thinking, what actually does the word "friend" stand for? to me, its just names of people which i remember so that i can smile at them and call out their name. nothing more. something that u put at the back of ur head once u smile and greet them. how fake are sayings like "a true friend never walks out on you", or whatsoever. the thing is, how do u define true friend? to one person, u might be their "true friend", but on the other hand, u might not be "their" "true friend". its just a matter of perspective. so in other words, the saying cant be correct. perhaps to some people, once they find more entertaining friends, they leave their "old" friends behind, thus contradicting the phrase "friends forever". whoever came up with that seriously takes the whole thing too lightly. in fact, there's no such thing as friends forever. its just a phrase to relieve the so-called pain and suffering when people part. that's it. and if u take my definition of "friend" just being a name to remember, then "friends forever" is legit. because its no problem to remember a name for life. ultimately, u cant depend on ur friends. that's what i've learnt. i''m not biased or anything, but i think its better to depend on urself rather than to seek help frm ur "friends". -shrugs- how ridiculous this god damned world is. i'm so glad i'm in it. to hell with social skills.

lol. Had pe two days in a row today. How fun is that. Did circuit yesterday, and lan sai 9 rounds today. Woo whee. 9 rounds in 14 mins. Kekeke. And I realized its extremely irritating to wear a XXL pe shirt to run. Stupid sleeves. Lol I wore it to loh tuan summore. Looked like a karung guni man. Anyways, met alv there, then Cheryl came later. Had the usual tok c0ck ala mat jokes session with the bing. Wanted to buy my billab0ng shirt. But argh dunno why I didnt buy. Juz didnt feel like it I guess. Nvm I shall buy it on thurs or fri. keke. Then I shall wear it with board shorts and look like a true blue hip hop surfer dude. HAHA. Lol today I zhupped canoeing trials. They told me there was a mat who did 3 pull ups, but only 8 push ups. And I mean eight. EIGHT NIAAAA. Actually can tell lar. He looks seriously scrawny. Even pinky can pwn him tombaleh. Plus with her pink shoes as her l337 weapons, the mat WILL be pwned TOMBALEH-LEH. DOUBLE PWNED. DOUBLE BREWED. DOUBLE h4XED. K. dunno wad shit Im saying but Im typing this in Microsoft word now. And that explains "the bing", cos its supposed to be iced milk tea. Yeah juz as my name is the jin yu. Lol. Hurhur trix trix. My mum thinks I'm doing gp essay now. Keke. Too bad she didn't see the amount of red and green underlines. Hahez. Wtf I am seriously crapping. Oh well, I'm going swimming tmr alone. And guess what regent sec is having their sports meet at the sports complex tmr. That means it will be damn crowded. Darn. Hmm, can anyone sponsor me monies? I wanna buy a pair of jeans. I juz realized I dun have any longs in my wardrobe. Hurhur. I really envy gunbound biatch lor. Everyday juz go work, slack arnd and earn lotsa monies. Asdfasdfsdfsdafsdfasdf. Bored. =( my sms is like under-used can. No one smses me. Except for 11124. go figure. Nvm. I shall apply to wacky sms. Hahez. The gals are so kewt and h0t. lol damn I better stop now. This is serious crap. Im juz writing whatever comes to my mind. Anyway, out of boredom, I trixxed scott. Hence, I shall now name it "SCOTT THE TRIXXED." Keke. Here’s a l337 pictar for u all. :D

hmm. i juz realised i spouted a whole shit load of crap. -shrugs- well, off to sleep now. its late. =)

hmm. hardly have any time to blog nowadays. but oh well. here i am. to get straight to the point, i'm confused. confused as a mat finding a korner in a circle, confused as an indian looking at himself in the mirror in a dark room. that's right. i'm confused. not about what i'm thinking, but what i should do. its so much like deja vu. and finally i know how she felt last time. because the decision to make on what to do, no matter what, will change everything. its just like telling ur buddy u like her, and all of a sudden, the two of you feel awkward and break off. its just so delicate, the human emotion. i've not felt like this for a few months, its the same feeling i felt almost 1 yr ago, but after being through a relationship before, i can't help but feel a sense of dread. a sense of what might happen if this all goes wrong. i told myself, not to have anymore r/ship committments, mainly because its stressful and i've got no more confidence in this sorta thing. but much as the rational mind works the body, the heart works on its own. and much as i try not to get involved in anything, i still fail to do so. to many people, i'm a gunbound freak. but however, its a sort of means with which i run from reality. ben keeps telling me so and so likes me, that, i don't know, but i do know that as much as i wanna run away, all i want is someone to be here with me. its not that i'm desperate, but who wouldn't want anyone to love? and that's why i'm back to the beginning. i'm confused abt what i should do. if i make the wrong move, i lose a good friend. even if i make the correct move, i really do not think that i would want any committments now. to put it bluntly, i'm afraid i will not be able to keep them. besides, i'm not even sure how she feels. maybe its best to keep it this way, for now.

lol. today i took some l337 quiz and i was some golden retriever. and one of the traits that i have, is "being able to withstand incredible emotional pain, but still able to stay committed.". hmm, wonder if that's true. oh well.