IM EMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OH SO EMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

TUESDAY NIGHTS ARE JUST EMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

COS NO WOW MAKES ME EMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo

here're some emo posts(drafts) which i found, dating back more than 1-2 years AGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo. HAHAHA

and NOOOOOOOOOOO, they DO NOT reflect whatever i feel now. They're there JUST for your (my LOYAL blog readers) viewing pleasure.

It gives you an insight into the days when i did not believe in using paragraphs.

Other than that, I'm a perfectly happy dude right now who's attached to the GREATESTTTTTTTTT girl ewer and having fun leading an alternate life (killing the Alliance) in the WORLD OF WARCRAFT!

only thing that makes me sad is 4 bucks. :`( yes i know, but i HAVE TO KEEP HARPING ON IT. KEKKEKEKLADM:asdf


WITHOUT FURTHER ADUE, I PRESENT TO U ALL,

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21/3/2005:

hmm ok so i wanna touch on something which i observed today. i wont mention names, but the people shud know who they are.

i dont know bout him, but in my own perspective i can tell he's jealous. as i was asking ben what that feeling was, he said "i guess its abit of "im not appreciated in the way i want to be,i dun tink she knows how i feel " tad kinda shat?" so yeah. which is quite true also lah. i had to get it straight from the horse's mouth. ok, i empathize with him lah. i know how unreturned feelings are like. experienced it before. i know how jealously bites u deep down inside. experienced it before too.
well, if thats the last advice i'll ever give to him, i'd tell him "know when to let go." yes, i know its not hard, and it takes time. but seriously i see no point in clinging onto something which has happened and will never come back. she'd get married and have kids in the future. is he gonna wait till then? yes i know at this point of time, she's the one in his heart. but u need 2 hands to clap. personally in my own point of view, once a couple breaks up, there's no more point in trying to "patch up". many people shud be able to relate to that. sure he might tell everyone arnd him "im waiting for so-and-so, cos she's the only one i truly love." haha. isnt that being a tad superfical? he's only like 19 and he's found the one he "truly loves". i dont mean to be blunt, but when it comes to matters of the heart, there is no definite answer. not at all. if i had a girlfriend, i wouldnt tell her "i'll love you forever and ever till the sun explodes and the earth disintegrates. and we shall hold hands and die in each others' arms.", instead i'd just tell her the 3 simple words. "I love you." and she gets the full meaning. So you see? moral of the story is "Life doesnt have to be so complicated." Jealousy and spite are just but natural feelings. u cant help it. but u can do something about it. think out of the box. and most of all, "live and let live". always be magnanimous with ur feelings. its what i learnt from the ben, huiwen saga. most people will tell themselves, "i'll never be able to get over (so and so)". my reply would be "Fuck you. you can. because i did it. and i was just about as sentimental as any love-sick fool.

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BLOCK OF TEXT CRITS YOU FOR 99999999999999999999


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15/4/2005

Sometimes i wish im not that sensitive.
Sometimes i wish i didnt get jealous that easily.
Sometimes i wish i didnt have these feelings of fucked-up-ness.
Sometimes i wish i could be cheery all the time.
Sometimes i wish i could just smile as she goes arnd giving other guys friendly hugs without feeling the slightest tinge of jealously.
Sometimes i wish i'd be able to not care for her so much.
Sometimes i wish i'd be able to say "No" so certain things.

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17/5/2005

did some self reflection yesterday after putting down the phone.

and i realised
that i do indeed need someone to love.
well from somewhere i've read, i can say for a fact that inside everyone is a bunch of feelings which is reserved for that special someone.
i know it does sound kinda absurd, but its true.
it makes you want to feel for that someone.
makes you like that someone.
makes you love that someone.

so my point is, that bunch of feelings has been dormant for quite some time now.
only to be recently awakened. but only the slightest tinge.
and im quite skeptical about it. because although its a self admitted fact that i do like people quite easily, i dont go "oh yay i like her. its a jolly good thing.", instead i think bout it alot. thinking bout whether i should go for it, thinking bout whether i should just let it go, thinkthinkthink. but most of the time, its always the latter.

which explains why i'm single most of the time, but i'm alright with it. tho at points of my life, i'd wish for that special someone to be there with me.

i hide my emotions really well on the outside, but inside i feel like as if im gonna burst. so even if i like someone to any extent, she wouldnt know unless i told her. which is quite a bane too. oh well.

i know how she's feeling now. stressed up. confused. angry at herself.
i suppose u cant suppress these feelings.
but i'm always here to provide a listening ear, or my 2 cents worth of advice if you need it.

i dont mean to sound un-fyshlike, but i really gotta blog this down.
it doesnt mean anything much, but i just want it to go down in the archives so yeah.

True, i do like her a lil.
so much for trying to hide these feelings of mine.
i also know that its the wrong time for her to know.
but when i blog in this mood of mine, everything just comes out.

i've just condemned myself to her not speaking to me ever again once she reads this.
but i guess its a sooner or later thing too i suppose.
If u're gonna ignore me for the rest of ur life, then i guess here are my last words to you.
"I'm sorry for ever liking you, if only a little bit. i know i've failed in my "good friend" status, but sometimes i just gotta answer to my own conscience. i've thought very throughly if i should say this, and i guess i did in the end. so go ahead and block me on msn if you deem fit. but hey, i'd still be there for you if u need me. haha who am i kidding. well it was nice knowing you. smiles."

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haha thats all the drafts i have.