Fysh tails. (pun pun)

Thursday, June 24, 2004

ok now i'm gonna address the irritance that has been bugging me since yesterday. if i sound offending, so be it. its all my thoughts and i dun give a flying fuck what u've gotta say. ok yesterday was ben's bdae, and we all went out to have a good time, or at least wanted to. first part of it was ok, went to the stadium, then went on to town to meet huiwen. we were still laughing and joking. went on to play pool, but halfway thru huiwen got a call from some jackass and so she went to some remote area to talk to him. i could tell something was not right, so i went to look for her. asked ben abt it, and he said "dun care lar dun care lar". so ok nvm, i went alone. waited for her to finish talking, then asked her abt it. tried to cheer her up a lil. that's all.
went back to play pool, and i thought "okay maybe everything's alright now". and went to have lunch after playing pool. as we were walking, huiwen was more or less talking to me along the way, and ben was with xb. ok perhaps that made u jealous ben, but what the fuck if u are just gonna keep to urself, dont expect her to come tagging by ur side. everyone prefers someone whom they can talk and laugh to, i'm sure she aint an exception. and there i was just trying to keep her entertained, or would u rather she stone off into the distance? perhaps if u would have joined in, things might warm up between u and her, dont u think? i'm content just to play the fucking middle man. not like i didnt leave u guys to urself. i went into DKNY to look at women's clothing. like how fucking interesting can it get? i just didnt wanna see 2 faces. one's BEN'S "MI SI PWNED" FACE, AND two's HUIWEN'S "HI IMMA GARGOYLE" face.(in case u didnt get it. its the STONED face.) ok nvm. then when we went into the food court, ben and xb happily went to "shop". so obvious they were gonna talk stuff abt me and her. well, fuck off lar. i hate people talking behind my fucking back. but its alright. i tolerated it. i figured xb might be the only one with the clean mind and of neutral standing to talk to ben. but no, when they came back, i felt so fucking like an alien, like a fucking muslim who doesnt believe in Allah. and when xb and i walked outta wisma, he said "i think u shud have a good talk with ben". well, i'm not going to. if by now u still do not understand me, i'm not going to fucking talk to u. what brothers can we be if u have no faith in me. wtf she aint gonna be my next target. pls lar if i were to be ur competitor, i'd have pwned u hands down. trust me. and i suppose u've noticed quite a number of "perhaps" in my blog post? just maybe if u had fulfilled those "perhaps", ur bdae might have been a much more enjoyable one. and here i was trying to make it more lively, but got suspected instead. u guys seriously pissed me off to the living hells, so much so i just went home, ate cup noodles and went to sleep at 9 fucking 30 pm. well ben, i only have 3 pieces of advice for u.

1. Dont be so passive about everything. she's a girl, u're the guy. make ur move.
2. The best way to get someone u like is to just be urself. what's up with all the "stop swearing within 2 weeks" shit. u cant stop swearing, everyone knows that. if she cant accept it, so be it. and jealousy will ONLY cause ur downfall. trust me. i've been there, and i've changed.
3. Dont keep on saying "I DONT CARE I DONT CARE". BECAUSE U DO. TOO MUCH. QUIT DELUDING URSELF. DO SOMETHING TODAY.

ok thats all i've gotta say. at least i've gotten everything off my chest. take it or leave it.

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