juz received her xmas present. might be late..but oh well..better late then never..right now..i juz feel forgotten. looking back on all my posts now. i juz feel that its wishful thinking on my part. i'm juz so bloody naive. yeah. naive. cos i still watch bloody cartoons. but that's besides the point. right now, i feel that the situation, is juz "i love you, but u don't love me no more". yeah, and i juz cant help but feel depressed. all over again. because i seriously do not know how u feel towards me now. good or bad. i dun wanna know anymore. i juz don't. its juz so hard to be a "friend" to u all over again. its so hard, its bloody torture. i read ur blog, and i agree with what jolene said. u said u were afraid of ur parents knowing. maybe they knew? or maybe they didn't, but perhaps they would juz nod and say "i'm happy for u" when they knew u had a boyfriend? nothing happened at all. and u chose to give it all up. as for studies, A levels might be coming, for u at least. and u were afraid u couldn't concentrate. that was ur problem, which was mine too. aren't couples supposed to solve each other's problems together? u might say "i'm afraid of becoming a burden to u". u know jolly well that i wouldn't mind, in fact i'd be happy to shoulder ur problems with u. but no, u chose to give it up. u chose the easy way out. by juz going to the root of all problems and eliminating it. which was me. but if u'd ask me "why would u still wait for me even when i already broke up with u?" i'd reply "because i believe its something worth waiting for. i love you."